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I am still not over this. I will probably never be over it. It just...EVERYTHING.

This is the Blaine I have been madly in love with since Never Been Kissed, the boy who could just walk away and would have every right to be okay with himself for it but just can’t, because he feels like he’s better, the people he cares about are better, the world is better or it should be. He’s not too dumb to live about how the world operates, he knows better and harder than anyone, but he wants to make it the image he sees in his head - a world where people are just ignorant instead of hateful, where he can be so brave and sure that nothing touches him, where he can be that steady hand if someone is hurting and maybe, just maybe, it’ll make up for all the times he wasn’t enough.

But at the end of the day, Kurt is the one who is strong enough. Kurt is the one who has always been strong enough. And it’s finding someone who embraces him, and the times he was hurt, and the times he is messy and confused and scared, that finally lets him be the one - be the hero. Because the boy he loves was his hero first.

It is everything, EVERYTHING I ever wanted for these two, that they can be each other’s rock even when everyone else is too busy with their hate or their drama to give a fuck, and I can’t believe we got it, we got it so hard, and we’ll keep getting it because there’s no way Blaine is going gently into that good night after something like this. Even if S2 ended with his graduation or something, I know they’d find each other again and continue to grow and build something together, and that they’re going to be together for a long, long time.

But it won’t end here. We’re going to get a whole other season of this. And even when they have drama and they hurt each other, we’re going to have this episode. And I just.

I can’t.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2011 04:04 pm (UTC)
1. Can we talk about gender in this, please please please? Has no one pinged on the Sadie Hawkin's dance thing and how Blaine took it upon himself to ask another dude? I'm still turning this over in my head.

2. OMG, prom song choice. I've known I was going to need to write a long thing about it for ages, now it's just finding the time.

3. Blaine is such the little fake-adult. He mimics all the right thigns so well, and sometimes they are awesome, and sometimes.... god. It was like so so so the characterization I'm working with in my fic and I was so so so pleased.
May. 11th, 2011 04:09 pm (UTC)
You know, I've been chewing on the Sadie Hawkins thing, too. I'm just not sure *what* it is I'm getting at yet. That Blaine sees himself as the one who should expect to be asked? That if the gender dichot and norms are being tossed out enough for girls to asks boys to a dance that he's probably a little safer? I'm so interested in what you have to say.
May. 11th, 2011 04:14 pm (UTC)
You know, we spend so much time, as a fandom, i think talking about Kurt's gender identity and performance and sense of self as related to gender, that we just sort of ignore Blaine's deal. Like, he's an attractive dude who can totally pass for straight but doesn't really try one way or another on that score, that we're necessarily aware of. But I think he's been shoved into this heteronormatively male role by the audience and maybe the characters within the show itself just because he's standing next to Kurt. Maybe that shit is not how he sees himself or interacts with desire. Hell, maybe that's why it took him so long to realize he was into Kurt, because the dynamic there isn't the one he usually fantasized about for himself. When he says to Kurt, "I'm crazy about you" there's a real note of disbelief there -- part of it is hey, has has someone and gets to be happy, that's new! but I think part of it is just how unexpected it is for him that it's someone like Kurt. I think the Sadie Hawkins thing in the clue.
May. 11th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, yeah, it really does make an awful lot of sense re: Blaine taking a while to realize his feelings about Kurt.

I've long thought that Blaine performance of masculinity was just that--performance. He switches his "gayness" (in a stereotypical sense, not in an actual sense) on and off a lot through his inflection, what he talks about, etc. where he is much more pronouncedly stereotypically "effeminate" (again, as a stereotype he's playing) in the safety of, say, the Hudson-Hummel house, or the scene with Kurt and Mercedes in Breadstix. It would line up well with what little bit we got about his father's trying to "man" him up with the car thing. How that would shape his views of maleness and masculinity and "doing" gender.
May. 11th, 2011 04:45 pm (UTC)
This is what happens when I respond to an old load of the page - what you said, basically. :))
May. 11th, 2011 04:44 pm (UTC)
I think that a lot of what we saw last night was playing against that. We got all the Vogue stuff very early on, but then it went dead. And the way Blaine held himself on the sofa, his remarks about his clothes, his response re Tony Orlando - oh look, there it is back again. Coupled with the Sadie Hawkins stuff - yeah, very interesting.

Edited at 2011-05-11 04:45 pm (UTC)
May. 11th, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC)
Don't we also have this in BIOTA were Blaine identified with the female character of whatever that movie Rachel and him watched was?
May. 11th, 2011 04:07 pm (UTC)
Can I just hold your hand and have feelings for a while? Thanks.
May. 11th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
I think I am physically incapable of functioning as an adult today because I am too busy having feelings. This fandom continues to be the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.

How am I so in love with them and how do I make it at least calm the fuck down for a little while?
May. 11th, 2011 04:31 pm (UTC)
They just love each other SUHUHUH much! It is physically painful that I cannot hug them.
May. 13th, 2011 04:20 pm (UTC)
I continue to love your meta.

how do I make it at least calm the fuck down for a little while?

Summer hiatus? I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive.
May. 11th, 2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
~loves this post a lot~

Argh, it's almost 2 pm, I must get sleep but I'm still so wound up...
May. 11th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
But it won’t end here. We’re going to get a whole other season of this. And even when they have drama and they hurt each other, we’re going to have this episode.

I'm getting verklempt just thinking of this. So many feelings, I can't even.

I can't get over the fact that this stunning episode was written by Ian Brennan. The same guy who gave us the hot drunken mess that was BIOTA. Sir, you are forgiven.
May. 11th, 2011 04:26 pm (UTC)
BIOTA makes so much painful sense now. No, Blaine wasn't having a flip moment of drunken confusion. Blaine was quietly hoping for a day when he wouldn't get his ass beat, and he hoped Kurt, Kurt of all people, would understand.

But Kurt told him he was running, and he was, and he loved Kurt but couldn't get there because everything made it so hard to, and that kiss still felt good, and he needed, oh god, the feeeeeliiiings.
May. 11th, 2011 04:39 pm (UTC)
BIOTA makes so much painful sense now.

It so does. Taking this episode into account, the motivations for his actions in BIOTA are becoming so much clearer. I've been thinking that the whole situation there had to have been motivated by something in his past.

When Kurt - the one person he can relate to the most - didn't get where he was coming from, that must have really hurt. Especially with all those complicated romantic feelings hiding under the surface.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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